You Might Be A Nurse If. . .

Nurse pic 2-9-11

You can’t phase a nurse.  

We’ve seen it all, more than we ever wanted to see.

We have to exhibit a “whatever it takes” attitude for the sake of our patients.

Why patients are modest around us, I don’t know.  We’ve seen it all, thousands of them. Butts and boobs all look the same after a while. 

We have to smile NO MATTER WHAT we are asked to do.

Under the nurse umbrella we are also a waitress, maid, repairman, plumber, activity director, counselor, transcriber, slave driver and secretary.  And we are expected to do all these jobs flawlessly and with a smile.

This post is dedicated to all my fellow hardworking caretakers out there.  Your job is priceless.  You are valuable and needed.

This should make you laugh 🙂

You Might Be A Nurse If. . .

  • You don’t get excited about blood loss unless it’s your own.
  • You believe anything can go wrong, will go wrong and if nothing has gone wrong, you obviously don’t understand the situation.
  • You’ve ever said, “Why am I here?”
  • You hope there is a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light.
  • You believe that everyone gets treated the same…until they piss you off.
  • When you call the MD for orders, the MD says “You write the orders, you know the patient better than I do.”
  • You’ve seen a patient with 12 tattoos say “I am afraid of needles.”
  • You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth to cough.
  • You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
  • You believe that every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
  • You have a special shrine in your home to the inventor of Haldol.
  • You believe the patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.
  • Your sense of humor seems to get more warped every year.
  • You call some of your co-workers “Flowers in the Field of Medicine” because they’re bloomin’ idiots.
  • You hope there is a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light.
  • Everything only happens all at once.
  • You believe that the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  • Your new lunch time is 1600 and your breakfast time was at 0600.  Patients before food ya know.
  • You have the bladder capacity of five people.
  • Your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flinstone’s.
  • You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf down your food even in the nicest of restaurants.
  • You always try to schedule days off around the phases of the moon.  Working when there is a full moon suck.
  • You constantly feel the veins in your husbands arms, boasting “I could hit that one easy.”
  • You believe in the underwear theory of charting, “Keep your ass covered.”
  • You have seen more moons than the Hubble telescope.
  • You wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.
  • You remember, in medicine, to always remember never to say always and never.
  • You’ve been exposed to so many x-rays you consider it a form of birth control.
  • Your idea of fine dining is sitting down to eat.
  • You call subcutaneous emphysema Rice Krispies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes.

Nurses dispense comfort, compassion, and caring without even a prescription.  ~Val Saintsbury

When I think about all the patients and their loved ones that I have worked with over the years, I know most of them don’t remember me nor I them.  But I do know that I gave a little piece of myself to each of them and they to me and those threads make up the beautiful tapestry in my mind that is my career in nursing.  ~Donna Wilk Cardillo, A Daybook for Beginning Nurses

Nursing care comes in many forms.  Sometimes it is the ability to make someone feel physically comfortable by various means.  Other times it is the ability to improve the body’s ability to achieve or maintain health.  But often it is an uncanny yet well honed knack to see beyond the obvious and address, in some way, the deeper needs of the human soul.  ~Donna Wilk Cardillo, A Daybook for Beginning Nurses

THANK YOU TO ALL MY FELLOW RN’s!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now onto some food!

Looking for a great snack, dessert or breakfast?  This one will hit the spot.  Delicious!

Peanut Butter Banana Chocolate Chip Breakfast Cookie

  • 1 smashed banana
  • 1 egg white
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 1/3 c. old fashioned oats
  • 1/4 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/2 Tbsp. chocolate chips
  • dash of cinnamon
  • 1 Tbsp. peanut butter
  1. In microwaveable bowl, mash banana with a fork and mix in egg.
  2. Stir in vanilla extract.
  3. Add in the oats, baking powder and cinnamon.  Stir until fully mixed up.
  4. Stir in chocolate chips.
  5. Microwave for 2 min.
  6. Spread peanut butter on top and enjoy the cookie while warm!

Recipe from A Foodie Stays Fit.

Scrumptious!

Nurse 2-9-11 001 Nurse 2-9-11 002 Nurse 2-9-11 003

Banana, smashed, then oats and cinnamon added with egg white and mixed up.

Nurse 2-9-11 004 Nurse 2-9-11 005 Nurse 2-9-11 006 

The baked cookie came out looking like this.  You have to eat this cookie with a spoon!!!  Yummy!

Nurse 2-9-11 008        

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Do you have a healthified cookie recipe that you would like to share with me, please?!

Are you a nurse?  If so, tell me, I’d love to “meet” you!

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About TheSceneFromMe

Wife, Foodie, Traveler, Shopaholic. I am a thirty-something tactfully-opinionated nurse living in the Midwest. I believe shopping counts as cardio, tea cannot be too sweet, anything orange (and sparkly!) can cure a bad mood, and no one can have enough clothes, accessories or shoes. I love to bake, indulge in celebrity gossip, cupcakes, reality tv, photography, travel anywhere new or places that I've already graced, spend time with my family and live life the way I am meant to. I am in love with my iPhone, husband and 2 wrinkly shar-peis. Join me on the journey of my candy coated life. Fasten your seatbelts! This is the scene from ME!
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17 Responses to You Might Be A Nurse If. . .

  1. Nurses amaze me. When I was in the hospital after having my babies, I couldn’t believe how much the nurses did to take care of me. It’s interesting to me, really. So much medical training, and so much time spent doing things like changing sheets/clothes, getting ice water, cleaning up, etc. I think nurses get stuck doing a lot of stuff that really should be someone else’s responsibility, but with cutback and what-not, nurses do it ALL these days. I definitely join you in raising a glass to hard working nurses!!!

  2. greekmelie says:

    I am not a nurse, but I am a recent breakfast cookie addict. These things are so good! I actually use apple sauce to make the cookie a little bit more moist and it is amazing beyond words. My favorite combo lately is banana-walnut 🙂

  3. Haha…valium salt lick. Yes please!

    Nurses deserve tons of kudos and credit — I could never do it. They rock!

  4. terri says:

    omg. i am totally making this tomorrow for breakfast!
    yes! i am a nurse. xo

  5. A lot of my friends are nurses and I dont know how you guys do it!! The overnight shifts would drive me crazy!

    Loving that breakfast cookie. Choc + PB + Banana = AH.MAZE.ING

  6. Jenny says:

    Omg that breakfast cookie looks amazeballs!! 😀
    And I have the most utmost respect for nurses, doing what you do isn’t easy for sure. I’m not a nurse but I’m applying to P.A school so we’re definitely in similar fields 🙂

  7. I had no idea a lot of the stuff about nurses!

  8. simplyshaka says:

    Thats a cute nurse. I don’t know how you all do it but I hold nurse’s in a high regard through all the stuff they have to deal with on a daily basis-both mentally and physically.

    I would never be able to be a nurse, I drink so much water I have to pee every 30 mins!!

  9. simplyshaka says:

    *argh, that’s a cute list. So tired haha

  10. Jess says:

    Loved that list!! I love the “wash your hands before you go to the bathroom”–LOL! Thank you to all the nurses for what they do ❤

  11. I’m not a nurse, but my mother is and from her stories, she can relate to several things on your list! These cookies look fun, especially when eaten with a spoon!

  12. Stephanie Head says:

    Amy,
    I adore your blog and even more so today….you are a special nurse with a great sense of humorand a kind heart, that is so needed where we work and with what we do.
    p.s. my kale chips did not turn out like yours but the Cherry Republic White Chocolate Peanut Butter was spectacular. Happy Easter!

  13. Awesome list! And totally know I couldn’t do that job! I’ve done an internship at a hospital once and found it so hard already. 😉

  14. Laaaaaaahuvvvvvved this!! Though I’m not a nurse, as a hospital worker I can relate to just about everything on your list! I couldn’t help myself from laughing out loud at

    You’ve seen a patient with 12 tattoos say “I am afraid of needles.”-

    and

    You constantly feel the veins in your husbands arms, boasting “I could hit that one easy.” (of course, I do this to everybody! I silently check out the veins on my grocery store cashier, the lady at the bank, the guy next to me on the treadmill at the gym! Haha!)

    And I’ve told at least half my patients that my job would be a whole lot easier if I had a third arm, which I’m surprised working around so much radiation hasn’t formed yet! 😉

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